Date:  11-4-2005
From:  Mr. Daneliuk, Concerned Global Citizen And Francophile
To:    Dominique de Villepin, Prime Minister, France
 
 Re: Recent Islamic Riots In Paris


Maybe that whole Colonizing North Africa thing was a bad idea. It forces you to embrace people into your society who do not share any of your values. This tends to keep them poor and angry.

Maybe supporting Islamic butchers after they showed their true colors was a bad idea. It gives the locals back in France a good idea of just what they can get away with. Ditto on not cooperating with the US when it wants to bomb a certain Libyan butcher's tent or remove a certain leader of Iraq. When you do that, we call it "capitulation" in English. I believe you French call it "normal French policy".

Dom baby, it comes back to haunt you sooner or later. Bad guys only understand violence and exploit capitulation as weakness. You may recall a fellow by the name of Vichy who learned this the hard way. Well ... I guess you really don't remember that at all.

Incidentally, pork-tipped bullets worked really well with this sort of thing the last time we tried it in the Philippines. Strangely, once Paris became the number one vacation destination for our own citizens, they lost their appetite for this sort of warfare. In fact, we have a whole bunch of people in the US now who'd rather lock their doors and turn up the volume on their Enya CDs than fight to keep their freedom. (Canada has an even bigger problem in this regard, but they don't have to travel as far to find a Frenchman.) Would you like them? You can have them all ... cheap. Even when they riot they mostly just whine and smell bad. In other words, they'll fit right in.

By the way, I really think, in the calm spirit of consistency, that France ought to ask the UN for permission before interdicting in Muslim matters.

Remember: Bush is an idiot, you were right all along, Islam is the Religion Of Peace (tm), and the lack of this kind of rioting in the US and UK is entirely accidental.

My best to Mrs. V.
(My best also to your Mistress)
Viva La France,
Mr. Daneliuk